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Audience: Will the essay be careful an admission officer?
write sentences that are confusing, unclear or too long.
Add details with which you can do your point.
Cut unnecessary words or parts. Strive to be concise.
Edit your revised writing.
General nouns and verbs replace with certain and assets.
Check your letter with the pages as a guide.
Below is a sample college approval attachment. Most universities ask for approvals of 500 words or less, so it is important to carefully select their words.
Lessons of tyrann high
The start concerns the experience of the writer on a drawing power problem.
All of these night news from bullying would have been filmed at my high school. They saw it in the corridors and in the lockers and in the gym floor and behind computer screens. Girl's mobilized girl, boy bobbt boy, and vice versa. How do you change a school culture in which bullying is the norm?
I have not always got up for those who were bullied. An incident during my junior year, however, changed things. In the locker room after the health and fitness class, a friend of mine mocked another classmates without reason. When the classmate fought back, my friend, a great and muscular guy, struck him repeatedly against a locker. Everyone was standing around. After a while I could not take it anymore and kicked between them.
Later on this day I confronted my friend. I told him he took it too far. "I thought you had my back. I think they knocked out," he answered. In the weeks after the dispute, I have lost favor with this group of friends. It was a bit more lonely, but I also grew confident in me and met people who are some of my best friends today.
The middle learns participating teachings and illustrates the good character of the writer.
During this time, the bullying was more aware of me that runs around me. I stopped being a quiet viewer and started acting as a mediator. My actions that frightened from my old friends, but also respect from other students. A lesson I accepted from experience is that basics are actually a minority in my school, but other students hesitate to speak against them.
This silent majority offered a chance for changing. I am associated in a group of students and teachers in a "not in our school", which aimed to curb mobbing and hateful speech. For the first month of the new school year, we have implemented activities and teaching discussions in order to engage students in discussions and measures against intolerance and bullying. The campaign was successful, and the prevalence of bullying fell (although not complete). My hope is that the lessons from the campaign will be transferred in the coming years and that the culture of the bullying will eventually stop.
The ending binds the story of the future goals and lawyers of the writer.
My high school experience is one of the main reasons for my interest in the field of social work. I went by an observer of social problems to be a proponent for the solution. The work with others to solve conflicts has helped me to grow as a person, and I hope I can learn further and grow in college.
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